" All these fairytale are full of shit "

It's always like that , whenever i decided to give all my attention , heart , time , love , money on

someone, the someone always take it for granted and hurt me .

Yes, I've been dump & abandoned alot of times, and i think my heart already gone. I used to have 6

crushes, but none of them seem to want my love, my heart is not something that can play with. But,

people just take it for granted. Friends say they will be there for me no matter what, be my side 

and support me no matter what. However, I can't really find a truly friend who be there for me.

I think im also one of them anyway, nobody can really be there for someone else. People said " As

long as you use your sincere heart to love someone wholeheartedly, treat someone really special ,

they sure will love you or be your friend forever. Well, I can't seem to understand what does it 

mean . Well, im quite used to it because no matter what i do, i'm always fail, fail for life . Other 

people find a decent boyfriend easily while i never meet my Mr Right, but i try to believe they 

will come and make me believe there's still someone out there who only love me truly. I won't blame

people around me, because we're not living in fairytales, we're living in a scary reality world , so

scary that even you scream, cry, shout and desperately for help, nobody can help you . It might be

the scariest horror world that you might experience for lifetime, but what else can you do ?

-

We all hate to be judged, but we still judge.

HeyyyyyHeyyyy. 

Hello, hello . Tomorrow , im going for a Malaysia camps with my friends & teachers , HOW AWESOME ?!

So yeah , im gonna spend all my mood , fun , everything in this camps . Im not gonna get sad and emo the

whole day . I'll make people smile as myself as well :> Well, im kinda miss school , like friends and him , 

definitely not teachers & homeworks . By the way , this year holiday homework only two . LOL .___.

I still have to go back for Math remedial after my camp , pekcek >< | So , i still have dance camp , 

which i SOOO NOT looking forward , and i seriously doesn't want to go for the fucking, cb cca & see the

fucking bitch dog face of the Choreographer . Im sorry for being so rude, i just fucking hate her, long 

story . Whenever talk about my cca , i will get so angry - ruin my life & mood . Anyway , uhmm ermm 

have fun during this holiday , cherish this holiday well , and don't wasted it because right after this June

holiday, everything will go very fast . And soon , im gonna be in Sec three while im being so short and 

primary school face . LOL #Fml . Okay, goodbyeeeeeeeeeee ! 

Him

He gave me false hopes again and again.

Hello, today woke up at 8.30am just for tuition . I didn't go out today because Im tired and sick.

Ok , yesterday we had soccer for Physical Education ( PE ) . We all able to choose to play Floorball

or Soccer. He choose the Soccer, and i decided to avoid him . When i wanted to choose Floorball,

Mas wants me to join her in Soccer, so i agree with it. We're even in the same team, damn it. Thus

, he keep on passing the ball to me while i likea failed player . Then, I was being chosen as the goal

keeper after that . LOL , he told our friends that Im the best in sports & said that im good . Aww :X

I liked the way he told his friends, how sweet . Somehow , i wanted to high five with him after the match

. But end up, slapping myself. LOL :/ Last night, we sms one another, although there's no topic to chat

but Im happy enough that at least he gave me some false hopes. I let you see our conversation :x 

Him - Hi ^^

Me - Hello ^^

Him - Heyy ^^

Me - First time, you reply so fast. Anyway, did you went for Parents Meeting ? ):

Him - Yup . Hahahah , why ?

Me - Nothing, just asking (:

Him - Okay bah. Hahah 

Me - Okay then , byeee ! Goodnight (:

Him - Lol Goodnight. Hahaha

- Our conversation just end like that -

I feel like slapping myself with 10000000 hot soup. Im such a boring and stupid text-er. Ok , nothing much.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ~

I had the most meaningful day ever.

Our group 2 ! Don't you think they are the cutest children ?!

 These are the molesters kids that molested me and Sijie :3

 Shirley ^ -the only child that made my day, she's the first child to hug me, kiss me, and 

made friends with me. She left an impression in my heart, that i missed her so much. 

Hello !! Yesterday, 2E3 went for Service Learning project at the PCF kinder garden :> We had so

much fun, i bet our group is the only group that had so much fun and hyper active because we went

to other group and see, they're like so quiet. LOL, i think we're the noisiest. At first, the 9 giants felt

so awkward with those little ones. When we first step in, all of us said " Awww, so cuteee ! " They were

so shocked to see us, LOL. After that, we had lots of games, magic show and songs for them. Okay, it's 

was damn damn damn fun, they made me forget about those painful memories by their innocent &

pure smiles. Shirley get scolded by the teacher, and she cried which break my heart because i love her

so much. I went to comfort her, and make her smile :> Times flies, they have to go home. When their 

parents came and fetch them, i can totally see their happiness. Aww :> Anyway, i had alot of fun, I 

wanna thanks everyone. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! :>

Why so sad with life ? Smile and move on !

Hellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohello. LOL, i dont really know how much hello did i type. So 

if you waste your time and count it, you're a smart one. * sarcastic * Basically, I feel so awkward writing

about those sad stuff which totally not my style, and im dump in writing them. I just copy what people

do - I FEEL SO NO ORIGINAL. Anyway, from today onwards, i decided not to elaborate on my sadness,

if im sad, i just cried and move on. That's what makes me feel much better (: Okay, i guess i already 

gave up on him, because if he doesn't like me, why do i have to force him anyway.. I believe i can find

someone better than him. Yeah, move on Lihtyng. Ok, i spend today on playing and chatting, nothing 

much. Went to Jiayu's house and watch movies, went home and slack around. NEXT WEEK GOING CAMP.

Ohyeah ! Currently no crush, no relationship, no unseen stuff, im young, free and wild ! I can do anything

i want right now, without taking care of myself because of him around. Yayy (: Okay, im going to see a 

doctor soon, byeeeeeeeee !

"  When we together, all my painful memories disappear, when we together, my smile

eventually came out without realizing, amazing right ? "

Hello, I feel so embarrassing by posting so many photos, but somehow it's good photos from tumblr. 

Anyway, today's wasn't a good day though. Basically, we were given free period for 2hours, then

all of us was quite bored. Then, after which, Charlene told me she doesn't wan to go for CCA, and

me too, so we decided to pon. :> But somehow, i felt bad and afraid that i missed alot of lessons.

After that, went to Jurong point & Library to slack around. Then went to centris, it's was quite fun

(: So yeah, everything went like that. During PE, we had long jump, and went to somewhere that

all the sec 3 are staring at us, they like shouting and laughing. When i run, my fringe like so cui sia.

I was so embarrassing for him to see me like this. Before the jump, he asked me to watch how his

Ninjia's jump, and we were smiling :> I saw his jump, he was so damn fucking cute and powerful,

he like the hero is me. LOL Then, it's my turn, he was watching me, then while i was running, my

face damn cramp and ugly sia. After that, he didnt talk to anymore :< But we did text, and i guess

my confidence was so lacking that i dont dare to talk to him . I felt pekcek, was suppose to joke 

with him, when he stand next to me. BUT I WAS SO SHY, FUUUUU. I totally wasted my chance.

Okay, i agree i missed you alot, and everyday of my life, i saw you. It's hard for me to forget

you, and give up on you right ? But when we together, my heart trembling damn fast and i see

nothing but you. Okay, bye i love you people. ^^

 You just can't stop running away from me, when you're the one i gave all my heart to.

Hello people. How's life ? Well, it's been really bad for me these days, i receive results worse than

my shit. Mostly all of them are disappointing, i don't even know how to give my parents. Well, I tell

you all, my results straight away when i know every papers. Today, i didnt went for CCA, instead i

went to a CIP Volunteer Service, and i quite proud of myself somehow. I finally able to have a chance

to be Volunteer because i always wanted to help other people. My mission is to teach tuition for those

poor people, and help them every Saturday morning. I'm now officially their long term Volunteer, YAY!

I think im like showing off. LOL .__. Malaysia Trip is two weeks away, im like so excited and self hyper.

So, today wasn't a good day for me, i guess. He walked passed me a lot of times and he actually talk to me

abit. Even had an awkward moment with him inside the classroom, we didn't talk and just sit there do

NOTHING. I feel like my chance just wasted and i shall go and die, seriously. Usually, guys should make

the first move, but he seem to heck care about me. Perhaps, we're not close friend yet and big thing

happened between the two of us. Yes, i don't really blame him, i just love him too much that i willing

to be his anything. But somehow, i wish someday he can understand that i really love him. Everyday, we

didn't talk, it's like the most painful thing that im suffering . Ok, i know i always write about him,

and it's quite boring anyway. Im sorry, because when you love someone, you eventually think about him

all day. Trust me, it's the hard to forget someone you love so much.

-

Hey, we didn't talk for quite awhile. Did you miss me, like how much I miss you? Have I ever came 

across your mind ? And did you find yourself thinking that " Damn, i miss her . "

I'm like an idiot who madly in love with you, i get very weak whenever I'm in front of you. Do

you understand this heart of mine anot ?

 Like a yo-yo , can you still come back to me even if i accidentally let you go ?

I need you, boy. Please stay by my side until the day we die.

Hello, it's mother day today. Basically, i didnt really celebrate with her today, cause i celebrate

with her yesterday already. Thus, i gave her a small red pocket with letter inside not money. HA

Okay, i just chat with Chermin all day long, cause it's a fucking boring day, im resting all day. I 

done nothing today, nothing at all. I feel like my life just wasted, and im really sad about it. :/ Hi,

Chermin, i know you're reading this, and i wanted to tell you something " Please cheer up, i still 

want to laugh with you and be happy with you ok ? I forever love you even though we always GL

one another, i love you alot alot <3 "  Okay, going out tomorrow ! Yayy, IKEA YEAH ~ Okay, i 

seriously don't know what to write anymore. I'm leaving. Wish you people be happy everyday (: 

-

Boy, sometimes i still want you to know, i still madly in love with you even though, i told my friends

i'll be fine without you. But seriously, i really need you.

Cause there be no sunlight, if i lose you baby. There be no clear sky, if i lose you baby, just like

the clouds, my eyes will do the same. If you walk away, everyday it will rain, rain, rain.

 I pick up those broken pieces till i bleed if that would make you mine.

Hello ! Hello ! Let me summarize today's outing trip (: Basically, i woke up 7am in the morning 

just to have morning breakfast with them. Then, we slack around Jurong Point, go for Bowling, 

then Centris. Well, it's a tiring day, and boring, because mostly slack at Jurong point. But it's

still a meaningful day cause i spend my time with friends (: Going out tomorrow again. It's 

quite tiring for me, but exams are OVER. I wanna learn many things during June Holiday!

I just afraid i have to go back for CCA, i fucking don't want. I have phobia going back for CCA.

Okay, not that i don't like my CCA, but it's fucking boring there and i had no friends anyway,

i don't know why. It's so hard for me to mingle with them, cause we're totally different " world "

Anyway, life still goes on. Okay, thanks for reading my blog. LOL Bye (:

Listening "  You're my friend - Lee Seung Gi "

Hello. Let me summarise 10/5/2012, because when i type, i can elaborate very longgg! Today,

my feeling was quite complicated, i guess. So, today i had my DNT & English Paper 3 tests, and

i think it's was a quite fun and happy one (: After wards, i went with my Bigbang family to JP.

We went to eat noodles at the Kopitian, and i made friend with the uncle. LOL After that, went

to Chermin's house! We watched " Pulse 3 " it's a horror movie, M18 somemore. It's damn damn

scary, and i screamed alot. HAHAH, after that, Shuqi & Cherylnn came ! I make friend with them

i guess. (: After that, went back to Centris cause Sijie want to see Marcus. HAHA. We had alot 

of fun. Okay, finish. Now, it's my time to describe him. I went home and cry, because i missed

him alot, i chat with Sijie, and thanks for comfort me. Although, nothing can make me feel better

except him, but thanks Ahjie. I love you (:

Sometimes, i wonder do you miss me like how much i miss you? 

I know im not your cup of tea, and thanks for letting to be your friend once in my lifetime.

I used to hate you so much, but we develop a feeling call love. And that's why, i love you so much.

Today, i saw you again, i get excited and somehow wanted to talk you badly. We walked pass one another

just by one table, you didn't say hi, and how am i suppose to say hi. I know you wanted to make me smile by

acting cute in front of me. But what i want to say is, i really love you, and i know you don't love me. Even if,

for a 100000 years, i still wait for you, because you're my first love, the first guy who make me fall for you.

I missed those times, when we used to text to one another, i remember you used to compliment me, and 

try talk to me whenever you're with me. I still remember the first you touched my hands while i passing you

some biscuits, i got love struck at that moment of time. What i wanted to say is, i really love you, do you know

this heart of mine? I want to share my happiness with you, cry with you. Stay together with you until our 

black hair turn white. Can you love me too ?

Trust me, a fake smile can hide millions tears.

Have you ever experience, when someone ask you " Are you okay ? " You feel like, you're can't

fake it and said " Im alright. " Because, you doesn't want people who love you worried for you.

And usually, you smile to people even when you're like the saddest person. Things just happen,

people come and go, who wouldn't hurt my heart? This road is never been easy for me, i have

to walk with it, bear with it, cry with it, suffer with it. I want to make people smile, and

bright up their world, even though i know i can't bright up my own world. 

Hi,im not like those people who wanna blog about how long story about chim words. Basically,

Im just having problems, i guess? Not that big, it's just that i can't find the place i belong to,

like i can't find the real me. I guess, most people felt that way too. It's just a part of life, and this

show that you're just growing and facing this society, nothing big. Anyway, i had my tests - it's 

was good until i found my fear during math paper. I doesn't know how to do, not even one 

question, i was sweating, shaking, worrying. You don't know how afraid i was, i spend all my

time revising on math, yet i can't pass. I knew it, i always failed my math ever since Primary 5.

Well, it's another boring June holiday, but excited for Malaysia camp with my friends ! Yay, it's 

like all my best friends get to go with me (: But Chermin didn't go, ): Okay, i need to study for

DNT, it's like why is there DNT test ?! This few day, im not in my mood cause due to some 

particular reasons, or perhaps sometimes, you just sit there and get sad but you don't know why.

You're just so sad, that you totally can't smile, and totally staring at wall. Trust me, you're not

the only one, everyone in this world get to experience once in their lifetime. Well, got to go!

Stay happy and enjoy your day! 

It's 6/5/2012 ! 

Hello everybody, hello! I went out with them to jurong point first. After that,went to vivo

city, brought tornado potato from the Seoul street food. (Y) Then, was eating with them.

After that, went to KFC for a quick lunch, we were all laughing so hard at the KFC, everyone

was staring at us. LOL. After that brought cakes and went to Sentosa to play! We were taking

photos, and playing around like some children. There's alot of photos, but didnt manage to 

upload all, cause they so lazy. LOL :B Then after which, sing birthday songs and cakes for Sijie

and then eat with her the chocolate cake, the cake was damn awesome! After which, clean 

up and ready to go back Vivo city, was laughing so hard with Chermin all the time, i think

im going crazy. After which, had funny chat at the Mrt, that everyone was staring at us, OMG

Then, we went home with join calls. So we chat on the phone with everyone, laughing like shit.

After all, it's was an awesome day with my friends ! And i hope my baby sijie had fun. LOL

Happy Birthday, fatty. Okay, byebye ! ^^