Ok , i hate today .
So this morning , i was bringing my usual fake smile to school. It's like almost everyday already.
So I can't bring myself to smile, because I feel like i'm being left out by my friends, I mean they
dont mean it, and they dont know . I wont blame them anyway , it's not their fault . It's mine .
Probably, im just too annoying and ugly anyway . I mean i'm always the one who put
in effort to be happy and not to show my true side . Like, it aint easy. It's really hard to make
other people smile , end up you will tired yourself. I just dont get it, why isn't there anyone
who can truly care about me for once ? Just once . I'm tired of being the one who went around
cheering people up, and entertain them as much as i can. That's because i truly care about my
friends, and i really love them, all of them. But I jealous of how other people manage to find a
boyfriend/girlfriend who care for them, or a good friend to be with them. I hate myself for
being a dumb clown, hate myself like this. I wanna be like the rest, who nearly to perfect.
Why why why why why ? I've been asking for years. It's amazing how you can smile falsely
infront of people , and they actually believe you. Okay , i hate being myself , im ugly ,
im stupid, im dumb, im short, im fat, im annoying, im a shit, im a failure, im all fucked up.
Sometimes , i feel like giving up everything .
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